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Anthropomorphisation:Who are the chavs of the bird world ? (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter Mutter
- Start date
I think it could be Canada geese - they hang round in town and parks being loud and agreesive and they leave crap all over the place.
I can see where people are coming from with starlings and magpies, but I'm always happy to see them...
I can see where people are coming from with starlings and magpies, but I'm always happy to see them...
Chickadeedeedee
Well-known member
Hmmm. I thought long and hard about the candidates on my way to work this morning. :brains: I believe in this neck of the world my vote would go for the Blue Jay (Cyanocitta cristata). They are a beautiful bird and seem to be aware of it! They have a bit of an arrogant attitude as a result. They arrive with a flourish in the middle of the feeding area. Most others land on the edge of the feeding area and mingle in politely. Not so the Blue Jay.
~~"Look at me. Handsome. Got a crest on my sculptured head. I am blue! I can scream, uhh, I mean call louder than any of you commoners.
Oh sure... the Cardinal too has a crest but really ... they have RED feathers. What kind of fashion statement is THAT? |
| And look at their beak? What's Mr. Cardinal gonna do with that little nub of a beak? Attack a sunflower heart? Yeah right. What a tough guy. I'm shaking in my down! :-O
And those starlings... A rowdy bunch of birds. Hey, Kramer! Why don't you take your feathers to the cleaners and get those spots washed off your boring brown feathers? :'D :'D :'D Plus just look at them. Got a figure like a bowling pin! Not the sleek and slender and handsome look of the Blue Jay! Your name, S. vulgaris was NOT a coincidence now admit it!
Yes I'm a Blue Jay and the other commoners are so jealous! I must admit that the sparrows do produce delicious chicks in the spring!..."~~
I think that sums up their attitude.
Chick-a-loony!
~~"Look at me. Handsome. Got a crest on my sculptured head. I am blue! I can scream, uhh, I mean call louder than any of you commoners.
Oh sure... the Cardinal too has a crest but really ... they have RED feathers. What kind of fashion statement is THAT? |
| And look at their beak? What's Mr. Cardinal gonna do with that little nub of a beak? Attack a sunflower heart? Yeah right. What a tough guy. I'm shaking in my down! :-O And those starlings... A rowdy bunch of birds. Hey, Kramer! Why don't you take your feathers to the cleaners and get those spots washed off your boring brown feathers? :'D :'D :'D Plus just look at them. Got a figure like a bowling pin! Not the sleek and slender and handsome look of the Blue Jay! Your name, S. vulgaris was NOT a coincidence now admit it!
Yes I'm a Blue Jay and the other commoners are so jealous! I must admit that the sparrows do produce delicious chicks in the spring!..."~~
I think that sums up their attitude.
Chick-a-loony!
Last edited:
Chickadeedeedee
Well-known member
Hi Cathy.
How was that for putting a 'human face' on a bird?
No, sorry to say I was drug and spirits free (as always!) Probably left overs from the Who Diary with which most of you may be familiar. A Mourning Dove gives his accounts of captivity. LOL!
Glad you liked it!
Chick a D x 3
How was that for putting a 'human face' on a bird?
No, sorry to say I was drug and spirits free (as always!) Probably left overs from the Who Diary with which most of you may be familiar. A Mourning Dove gives his accounts of captivity. LOL!
Glad you liked it!
Chick a D x 3
Mary Evelyn
New member
:t: Starlings, Starlings, Starlings............love them. :t:
Sue Wright
Well-known member
Britner said:
Hi Andy,
I'm going with Ant, what he says makes pure sense to me and there just isn't one I could think of to warrant the title anyway, poor little mites,as if.......! They don't have a middle finger anyway!!!
charlierocky
Well-known member
Ok so some of our bird friends can try our patience from time to time but to be honest I would keep all of the featherd varity and just get rid of the real "chavs". Can someone tell me how do we do that?
Hi Charlierocky,charlierocky said:
Get rid of all the advertisements, and everything else chav related, at least then, there numbers shouldnt increse as rapidly. and may eventually decrese. There is a more, qucker way. But.......... I doubt the rules will allow me to surgest it.
ant
Silvershark
Well-known member
Hmmm interesting topic...
Speaking of anthrophomorphisation though I've written a draft of a (children's) story where birds are actors:
------------
THE STORY OF DANNY DUNNOCK
In a back garden there lived many birds. Among these was a small, insignificant bird. His name was Danny Dunnock. Danny Dunnock spent much of his time creeping around under the hedgerow, out of sight and out of mind. But that was not the way Danny Dunnock liked it to be. No, he wanted to be in the spotlight, like the other birds around him. He wanted to be a movie star.
But he lacked the talent of the other birds that held all the most important parts. In fact, even as an extra he wasn’t worth a mention. No one ever noticed him, creeping in the background. He was no match for the true big-screen stars.
There was Jenny Wren, a star of the stage and of musicals her vocal talents filling a room all ears turning to her when she sang. Danny Dunnock couldn’t sing nearly so well.
All the ladies adored Blackbird in his shimmering black attire, charming, sophisticated, a true gentleman. Danny Dunnock was nothing compared to him.
Starling took the best comic roles, dressed to impress with white stars on his black feathers, funny and yet also surprisingly charming. Danny Dunnock could never make others laugh like that.
A role in a festive flick never passed without Robin Redbreast being offered a starring role. He captured the very essence of Christmas and that meant he was guaranteed a part. Danny Dunnock didn’t think he captured the essence of anything.
Dressed so smart in black and white, Magpie took parts magic and trickery, the sneaky pickpocket that everyone loved to hate. No one even noticed Danny Dunnock to love to hate him.
The part of the dark villain was owned by Carrion Crow. Dark, moody and brooding he could play the darkest characters so easily. But Danny Dunnock knew no one would ever find him menacing.
The child star roles were always taken by the oh-so-cute and charming Blue Tit, his cousin Great Tit taking on the roles of older sibling. Danny Dunnock was far from being so adorable, and stood no chance of getting a big brother role.
The hero of black comedy was cheeky Jackdaw, ever ready to share his dark sense of humour with all those around him. There was nothing dark about Danny Dunnock.
The roles that were for the most handsome of stars were only ever offered to Goldfinch, the most attractive of them all. Danny Dunnock was not close to being anywhere near as good looking as him.
Greenfinch never failed to grab the rebellious parts, a bulky tough little character that was always getting into scrapes. Danny Dunnock knew that he couldn’t play a rebel nearly so well.
Being a master of imitation opened the doors to many roles for Thrush, he could impersonate anything from your mother to a pick-up truck. Danny Dunnock couldn’t even do a good impersonation of himself.
And the roles for the big, bumbling fool belonged to rather clumsy Woodpigeon. Danny Dunnock was far to small to be able to fit in his shoes.
There was no part anywhere that Danny Dunnock could possibly play, and he remembered this every single day. What movie role could exist that could only ever be for him? Not one that he could think of.
Sitting by the bird bath, Danny Dunnock gazed at his reflection in the still water. Why wasn’t he beautiful like Goldfinch? Why wasn’t he cute like Blue Tit? Why couldn’t he make it onto the big screen?
There was the flapping of feathers and a thud from behind him. Danny Dunnock turned his head to see that he was no longer alone. Sat right behind him was yet another star, one famed for his roles as a ruthless killer, a part Danny Dunnock stood no chance of getting, Sparrowhawk.
“You’re a bold chap.” Commented Sparrowhawk when Danny Dunnock failed to flee at his sudden appearance though all others had long since vanished.
“Not bold,” Danny Dunnock replied miserably, “Not heroic nor brave. I just know you are not hunting.”
“Any how can you be sure of that?” Sparrowhawk asked, flexing his talons as he considered eating the little guy. But Danny Dunnock was right, he wasn’t hunting and wasn’t in the mood for eating.
“You’re stomach is bulging, you are full to bursting. You couldn’t eat another thing let alone be able to catch it.” responded Danny Dunnock.
“How very observant you are.” Sparrowhawk smiled, dipping his curved beak into the bath to take a refreshing drink.
“Observant yes, observed no.” Danny Dunnock moaned.
“Cheer up a bit.” Sparrowhawk said, “There should be no reason for you to feel this down.”
“Yes there is.” replied Danny Dunnock, “Everyone gets to enter the spotlight except me. When will it be my turn to be a movie star like all the other birds?”
Cocking his head onto one side, Sparrowhawk looked at him through his round amber eyes. “Perhaps when you discover what your talent is.” He suggested.
“I have no talent.” Moaned Danny Dunnock, “Anything I am good at someone else can do better. I can’t sing as well as Wren, I can’t make jokes as well as Starling, I can’t do magic as well as Magpie. I just hide in the background lurking. Watching others take the roles while I am just left observing.”
Sparrowhawk smiled, “Ah,” he said, “But right now they have all disappeared. You are the only one that remains. What does that tell you?”
Danny Dunnock didn’t understand. He looked at Sparrowhawk and blinked. Sparrowhawk simply grinned.
“Come meet me for breakfast at the Silver Birch, 6am sharp. Don’t be late.” And with that Sparrowhawk took to the air, leaving Danny Dunnock to simply sit and stare, wondering what it could be that Sparrowhawk had meant.
6am sharp, that very next morning, Danny Dunnock went to the Silver Birch. Already there was Sparrowhawk, and with him was Magpie, Wren, Blackbird and Carrion Crow, just a few of the stars that Danny Dunnock so longed to be like, yet knew he didn‘t stand a chance of coming close.
“Morning.” Danny Dunnock said, feeling rather shy.
“Morning.” Sparrowhawk replied and smiled, “Please, do take a branch.”
Danny Dunnock didn’t hesitate and flew up to sit beside Sparrowhawk. “What are you all talking about?” Danny Dunnock asked.
“We are discussing our new movie.” Blackbird replied, “Unfortunately we have no actor to play a vital part, but Sparrowhawk said he knows a guy.”
“I do know a guy, he’s ideal for the part.” Sparrowhawk nodded, “And he is sat here right by my side.”
Their eyes turned onto Danny Dunnock, but not one seemed impressed. “Sparrowhawk you’re one of a kind.” Laughed Magpie, thinking that this was just a joke.
Sparrowhawk glared at him, and said in all seriousness. “This is no joke. Danny Dunnock fit’s the character perfectly. We don’t need a character that stands out. We don’t need a character that makes the girls swoon. We don’t need someone that looks dangerous and sly and we don’t need someone who can make others smile. We need someone secretive and quiet, someone who sees all and yet remains unnoticed. There is only one I know who first such a part, and that is Danny Dunnock.”
They all paused and thought for a while, realising that Sparrowhawk was right. Danny Dunnock did fit the part perfectly, far better than any other. One by one they nodded and agreed. Danny Dunnock was the one for this role indeed.
“What part are you asking me to play?” Danny Dunnock asked in surprise, wondering what part was made for him more than any other guy.
“Why, the greatest part there ever could be.” Sparrowhawk responded,” The most famous detective in literacy. You’re name will be up on all the posters. Danny Dunnock starring as the greatest detective of them all, one who picks up on the tiniest details, the one who can see things while remaining unnoticed… SHERLOCK HOLMES.”
----------------------
NOTE: the above is a DRAFT. I might work on it, then again I might not! I also make no suggestion that birds have their own hollywood...but they would be better than some actors that are currently out there...
Speaking of anthrophomorphisation though I've written a draft of a (children's) story where birds are actors:
------------
THE STORY OF DANNY DUNNOCK
In a back garden there lived many birds. Among these was a small, insignificant bird. His name was Danny Dunnock. Danny Dunnock spent much of his time creeping around under the hedgerow, out of sight and out of mind. But that was not the way Danny Dunnock liked it to be. No, he wanted to be in the spotlight, like the other birds around him. He wanted to be a movie star.
But he lacked the talent of the other birds that held all the most important parts. In fact, even as an extra he wasn’t worth a mention. No one ever noticed him, creeping in the background. He was no match for the true big-screen stars.
There was Jenny Wren, a star of the stage and of musicals her vocal talents filling a room all ears turning to her when she sang. Danny Dunnock couldn’t sing nearly so well.
All the ladies adored Blackbird in his shimmering black attire, charming, sophisticated, a true gentleman. Danny Dunnock was nothing compared to him.
Starling took the best comic roles, dressed to impress with white stars on his black feathers, funny and yet also surprisingly charming. Danny Dunnock could never make others laugh like that.
A role in a festive flick never passed without Robin Redbreast being offered a starring role. He captured the very essence of Christmas and that meant he was guaranteed a part. Danny Dunnock didn’t think he captured the essence of anything.
Dressed so smart in black and white, Magpie took parts magic and trickery, the sneaky pickpocket that everyone loved to hate. No one even noticed Danny Dunnock to love to hate him.
The part of the dark villain was owned by Carrion Crow. Dark, moody and brooding he could play the darkest characters so easily. But Danny Dunnock knew no one would ever find him menacing.
The child star roles were always taken by the oh-so-cute and charming Blue Tit, his cousin Great Tit taking on the roles of older sibling. Danny Dunnock was far from being so adorable, and stood no chance of getting a big brother role.
The hero of black comedy was cheeky Jackdaw, ever ready to share his dark sense of humour with all those around him. There was nothing dark about Danny Dunnock.
The roles that were for the most handsome of stars were only ever offered to Goldfinch, the most attractive of them all. Danny Dunnock was not close to being anywhere near as good looking as him.
Greenfinch never failed to grab the rebellious parts, a bulky tough little character that was always getting into scrapes. Danny Dunnock knew that he couldn’t play a rebel nearly so well.
Being a master of imitation opened the doors to many roles for Thrush, he could impersonate anything from your mother to a pick-up truck. Danny Dunnock couldn’t even do a good impersonation of himself.
And the roles for the big, bumbling fool belonged to rather clumsy Woodpigeon. Danny Dunnock was far to small to be able to fit in his shoes.
There was no part anywhere that Danny Dunnock could possibly play, and he remembered this every single day. What movie role could exist that could only ever be for him? Not one that he could think of.
Sitting by the bird bath, Danny Dunnock gazed at his reflection in the still water. Why wasn’t he beautiful like Goldfinch? Why wasn’t he cute like Blue Tit? Why couldn’t he make it onto the big screen?
There was the flapping of feathers and a thud from behind him. Danny Dunnock turned his head to see that he was no longer alone. Sat right behind him was yet another star, one famed for his roles as a ruthless killer, a part Danny Dunnock stood no chance of getting, Sparrowhawk.
“You’re a bold chap.” Commented Sparrowhawk when Danny Dunnock failed to flee at his sudden appearance though all others had long since vanished.
“Not bold,” Danny Dunnock replied miserably, “Not heroic nor brave. I just know you are not hunting.”
“Any how can you be sure of that?” Sparrowhawk asked, flexing his talons as he considered eating the little guy. But Danny Dunnock was right, he wasn’t hunting and wasn’t in the mood for eating.
“You’re stomach is bulging, you are full to bursting. You couldn’t eat another thing let alone be able to catch it.” responded Danny Dunnock.
“How very observant you are.” Sparrowhawk smiled, dipping his curved beak into the bath to take a refreshing drink.
“Observant yes, observed no.” Danny Dunnock moaned.
“Cheer up a bit.” Sparrowhawk said, “There should be no reason for you to feel this down.”
“Yes there is.” replied Danny Dunnock, “Everyone gets to enter the spotlight except me. When will it be my turn to be a movie star like all the other birds?”
Cocking his head onto one side, Sparrowhawk looked at him through his round amber eyes. “Perhaps when you discover what your talent is.” He suggested.
“I have no talent.” Moaned Danny Dunnock, “Anything I am good at someone else can do better. I can’t sing as well as Wren, I can’t make jokes as well as Starling, I can’t do magic as well as Magpie. I just hide in the background lurking. Watching others take the roles while I am just left observing.”
Sparrowhawk smiled, “Ah,” he said, “But right now they have all disappeared. You are the only one that remains. What does that tell you?”
Danny Dunnock didn’t understand. He looked at Sparrowhawk and blinked. Sparrowhawk simply grinned.
“Come meet me for breakfast at the Silver Birch, 6am sharp. Don’t be late.” And with that Sparrowhawk took to the air, leaving Danny Dunnock to simply sit and stare, wondering what it could be that Sparrowhawk had meant.
6am sharp, that very next morning, Danny Dunnock went to the Silver Birch. Already there was Sparrowhawk, and with him was Magpie, Wren, Blackbird and Carrion Crow, just a few of the stars that Danny Dunnock so longed to be like, yet knew he didn‘t stand a chance of coming close.
“Morning.” Danny Dunnock said, feeling rather shy.
“Morning.” Sparrowhawk replied and smiled, “Please, do take a branch.”
Danny Dunnock didn’t hesitate and flew up to sit beside Sparrowhawk. “What are you all talking about?” Danny Dunnock asked.
“We are discussing our new movie.” Blackbird replied, “Unfortunately we have no actor to play a vital part, but Sparrowhawk said he knows a guy.”
“I do know a guy, he’s ideal for the part.” Sparrowhawk nodded, “And he is sat here right by my side.”
Their eyes turned onto Danny Dunnock, but not one seemed impressed. “Sparrowhawk you’re one of a kind.” Laughed Magpie, thinking that this was just a joke.
Sparrowhawk glared at him, and said in all seriousness. “This is no joke. Danny Dunnock fit’s the character perfectly. We don’t need a character that stands out. We don’t need a character that makes the girls swoon. We don’t need someone that looks dangerous and sly and we don’t need someone who can make others smile. We need someone secretive and quiet, someone who sees all and yet remains unnoticed. There is only one I know who first such a part, and that is Danny Dunnock.”
They all paused and thought for a while, realising that Sparrowhawk was right. Danny Dunnock did fit the part perfectly, far better than any other. One by one they nodded and agreed. Danny Dunnock was the one for this role indeed.
“What part are you asking me to play?” Danny Dunnock asked in surprise, wondering what part was made for him more than any other guy.
“Why, the greatest part there ever could be.” Sparrowhawk responded,” The most famous detective in literacy. You’re name will be up on all the posters. Danny Dunnock starring as the greatest detective of them all, one who picks up on the tiniest details, the one who can see things while remaining unnoticed… SHERLOCK HOLMES.”
----------------------
NOTE: the above is a DRAFT. I might work on it, then again I might not! I also make no suggestion that birds have their own hollywood...but they would be better than some actors that are currently out there...
Silvershark
Well-known member
Thanks Pam and Janey - I've already made a new version, cut out the split in the story
Eider-Duck
Well-known member
That was great story kat, I was sitting on the edge of my seat wondering what was going to happen next. :clap: :clap: :clap:
