Dr Manjeet Singh
Dr.Manjeet Singh
Birders,Birds,Wild Animals & Mother Nature-hillarious combination while i was birding
I had decided to go to Kuala Selangor for a birding trip. Got up in the morning at 6am and fumbled my way through dressing up in the dark (afraid of awaking my mother who sleeps in the next room). TYRANT I BELIEVE - my wife has told her to keep an eye on me until she comes back with my kids from U.K. - my mother - she kept me in her womb for 9months and has turned - TURNCOAT. I am considered the son-in-law (out-law) and my wife is her daughter -cruel people(ah) Went to the car and silently pushed my car out off the drive way and jumped in the car and bolted for the Nature park (Kuala Selangor) then I realised that i was wearing my shorts but being really hairy consoled myself that no insects could get me (off cause I was wearing my religious sword) Reached Kuala Selangor at 7.15am and the nature reserve was closed - will open at 8am. Killed time by eating breakfast and was excited about my trip (my imagination was running wild - seing birds which people had heard about but never seen but when i started seing birds with turbans i snaped out of it). My phone rang as usual - Where are you son - mom, i have gone birding to Kuala Selangor, Mom - MAKE SURE THEY ARE FEATHERED ONES NOT TWO LEGGED KIND - YOU HEAR SON. 80 yrs old still doesn't trust me or is it mother and daughter-in-law understanding
Took the map from the counter and paid RM2 for enterance fee to the girl and the girl had the cheek to tell me there will be small children in the park and the way way you dressed you may frighten the children-so I told her I can always take of my shorts if it frighten's the children- she fainted- I didn't know that she meant the sword not the shorts (why do people faint) - Started to walk through the track - Unbelievable sounds greeted me- forgot all other things- started looking for birds also was watching where i put my foot (snakes). Then i pushed myself off the track into the scrubs and tall trees and started hearing this small moaning sound but didn't pay any attention to it because i saw this ELVIS THE PELVIS BIRD..with black and white patterns on wings and breast and it was swaying it's body slowly from side to side in a peculier cockscrew fashion. Elvis the pelvis and I took a shot then I realised that the sound had increased to a roaring pitch but bird was about to fly - quickly got my second shot and turned around and saw myself surrounded by mosquitoes - about 3feet thick and 2feet wide and 10feet long- this black hoard of kubali khan's were attacking me but my hairy birthday suit protected my legs and arms - the sound was the disgust of their failer to penatrate my hairy armour- I bolted from there and galloped back to the main trail with my sword banging against my hip and carrying my scope + camera and my tripod on my shoulders- they charged me for sometime and then give up. (i was too fast). Used a small towel (4x4inches) to shead all the mozis from legs and spat out a few hundred mozis from my mouth and blew my nose which had another couple of hundred mozis in it. (NEXT TIME YOU IDIOT MANJEET WEAR LONGPANTS). I didn't know what bird I risked my life for(I will go home and check the guide book). Then the phone rang as usual my mother -Son have taken your food---I was still spitting mozis from my mouth and said - NOSH YESG (I meant not yet) - SON - HOW MANY TIME HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK WHEN YOU HAVE FOOD IN YOUR MOUTH WHAT TYPE OF DOCTOR ARE YOU - YOU HEAR - decided to switch off the phone - peace at last. Then i walked, walked, and walked, saw Serpent Eagle, Grey Heron of which i took a few shots (50 i think). Then a brown-throated sun bird, a brahminay kite (couldn't take pictures of the kite because there was no way to get close.) Then got a pic of a bird with curved and yellowish white ring around the eyes - didn't know what it was (will upload it in birdforum for i.d)
Oh, by the way I left my turban at home and was using a old Australian hat - camourflage colour and it had a long chin strap which has a small button with which u can tighten the chin strap loosen it. Then again I went of the trail in to the jungle and saw two birds running up the tree quickly positioned my scope and camera while hiding behind a tree- saw through the scope - woodpecker with a red blazzing crest and golden brown body what type i didn't know will check up later, started taking photos on my 5th pic I felt something splat on my left shoulder and trickled down from my shoulder into my left breast pocket where I kept my only half eaten chocolate bar I assumed some ripe fruit had fallen on my left shoulder. Then I heard this unearthly scream near my ears whick took off my hat, the birds flew away and I looked up- just 4feet above me sat this primate black in colour - grey under belly and black face with grey whiskers (monkey, a big one). I was so angry that i glared at him, :C (he made the birds fly away :flyaway: ), He glared back at me :-C then he showed me his long teeth |
| and i showed him mine. Finally, he glared at me |:S| probably reconized me as his relative, (CHARLE'S DARWIN THEORY) flicked his tail at me missing my nose by few inches and jumped on another tree and went away laughing (i swear). Then i realized that there was a foul smell coming from my left shoulder - turned and looked at my left shoulder - This bloody monkey had the runs and now i smelled to high heaven.
Started looking for a stream to wash off the muck, saw a small stream - walked down the bank less then a cubit high, took off my shirt and almost cried when i had to throw the half eaten choc bar. :'D Stupid monkey, lucky i had this tiny piece of soap i think, i stole it from one of the hotels where i had gone for a doctors meeting. Washed the t-shirt and hung it up on a branch to dry and as i turned this harmless looking snake dived through my legs into the stream and i was startled and fell backwards on my rear end. When i looked up after the fall this stone was peeping between my legs - Thank god it missed my ... , then i heard this loud tearing sound and my rear was getting wet (Oh No) my canvas shorts had split from between the legs to my rear up to the belt loop behind. Got up by holding on to the stone and checked by peeping between my legs thank god all parts were there. Now how do i go back to the car and then have food and not forgetting that to-day(31.08.2005) was independent day for Malaysia and there will be hoards of people at the main area (I am dead). Then I had this brilliant idea - ausi hats are great - I opened the chin strap put both my legs through the chin strap and ajusted the hat on my rear end and pull the chin strap tight (left the chin strap hanging in front) and pressed the button and locking it, the hat covered my rear and i picked up my things and went to the car park. On the way a family group past me some of them asked - Hi Doc Birding ah, then one of the small brat asked me- Doctor why are you wearing the hat behind - the hot sun is falling on your partially bold head, I growled :-C and said this is the new fashion for birding - the hat chases the birds away thus i am hiding the hat, As some of them moved passed me there was a lot of sniffing (I don't know why). Got in my car opened my windows (all four) the poo smell was hell. Drove to the restaurant and there were two tables occupied and there was District Officer and his family - hi doc and they refused to shake my hand (the smell was following me) then i called the waiter, who was a clown he stood 10feet away from me and was bending 90degrees backwards, took my order. I went to answer natures call, washed and went back to my table, as i passed the D.O's table his small son shouted doctor is wearing RED UNDER WEAR the hat had slipped up from my rear end - now i know why i was feeling tightness inside, i had worn my 12years old red jockey underwear in the dark, picked up my things and bolted for the car . Then called mom and collapsed with laughter in the car with the phone left on - my mother must be thinking that i have gone loony. (Mean an't I |})| )
Now I know some of you will be laughing at me so please make me laugh by sending your funny stories while birding but only birders, birds, wild animals and mother nature.YOU HERE
P.S The bird with curved beak and yellowish white around the eyes was uploaded for bird i.d. in birdforum - They are still cracking their heads and there is a rumour that they are cleaning their GUNS to shoot me when and if I go for the Birdfair 2006 (especailly Dave B). 3
I had decided to go to Kuala Selangor for a birding trip. Got up in the morning at 6am and fumbled my way through dressing up in the dark (afraid of awaking my mother who sleeps in the next room). TYRANT I BELIEVE - my wife has told her to keep an eye on me until she comes back with my kids from U.K. - my mother - she kept me in her womb for 9months and has turned - TURNCOAT. I am considered the son-in-law (out-law) and my wife is her daughter -cruel people(ah) Went to the car and silently pushed my car out off the drive way and jumped in the car and bolted for the Nature park (Kuala Selangor) then I realised that i was wearing my shorts but being really hairy consoled myself that no insects could get me (off cause I was wearing my religious sword) Reached Kuala Selangor at 7.15am and the nature reserve was closed - will open at 8am. Killed time by eating breakfast and was excited about my trip (my imagination was running wild - seing birds which people had heard about but never seen but when i started seing birds with turbans i snaped out of it). My phone rang as usual - Where are you son - mom, i have gone birding to Kuala Selangor, Mom - MAKE SURE THEY ARE FEATHERED ONES NOT TWO LEGGED KIND - YOU HEAR SON. 80 yrs old still doesn't trust me or is it mother and daughter-in-law understanding
Took the map from the counter and paid RM2 for enterance fee to the girl and the girl had the cheek to tell me there will be small children in the park and the way way you dressed you may frighten the children-so I told her I can always take of my shorts if it frighten's the children- she fainted- I didn't know that she meant the sword not the shorts (why do people faint) - Started to walk through the track - Unbelievable sounds greeted me- forgot all other things- started looking for birds also was watching where i put my foot (snakes). Then i pushed myself off the track into the scrubs and tall trees and started hearing this small moaning sound but didn't pay any attention to it because i saw this ELVIS THE PELVIS BIRD..with black and white patterns on wings and breast and it was swaying it's body slowly from side to side in a peculier cockscrew fashion. Elvis the pelvis and I took a shot then I realised that the sound had increased to a roaring pitch but bird was about to fly - quickly got my second shot and turned around and saw myself surrounded by mosquitoes - about 3feet thick and 2feet wide and 10feet long- this black hoard of kubali khan's were attacking me but my hairy birthday suit protected my legs and arms - the sound was the disgust of their failer to penatrate my hairy armour- I bolted from there and galloped back to the main trail with my sword banging against my hip and carrying my scope + camera and my tripod on my shoulders- they charged me for sometime and then give up. (i was too fast). Used a small towel (4x4inches) to shead all the mozis from legs and spat out a few hundred mozis from my mouth and blew my nose which had another couple of hundred mozis in it. (NEXT TIME YOU IDIOT MANJEET WEAR LONGPANTS). I didn't know what bird I risked my life for(I will go home and check the guide book). Then the phone rang as usual my mother -Son have taken your food---I was still spitting mozis from my mouth and said - NOSH YESG (I meant not yet) - SON - HOW MANY TIME HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK WHEN YOU HAVE FOOD IN YOUR MOUTH WHAT TYPE OF DOCTOR ARE YOU - YOU HEAR - decided to switch off the phone - peace at last. Then i walked, walked, and walked, saw Serpent Eagle, Grey Heron of which i took a few shots (50 i think). Then a brown-throated sun bird, a brahminay kite (couldn't take pictures of the kite because there was no way to get close.) Then got a pic of a bird with curved and yellowish white ring around the eyes - didn't know what it was (will upload it in birdforum for i.d)
Oh, by the way I left my turban at home and was using a old Australian hat - camourflage colour and it had a long chin strap which has a small button with which u can tighten the chin strap loosen it. Then again I went of the trail in to the jungle and saw two birds running up the tree quickly positioned my scope and camera while hiding behind a tree- saw through the scope - woodpecker with a red blazzing crest and golden brown body what type i didn't know will check up later, started taking photos on my 5th pic I felt something splat on my left shoulder and trickled down from my shoulder into my left breast pocket where I kept my only half eaten chocolate bar I assumed some ripe fruit had fallen on my left shoulder. Then I heard this unearthly scream near my ears whick took off my hat, the birds flew away and I looked up- just 4feet above me sat this primate black in colour - grey under belly and black face with grey whiskers (monkey, a big one). I was so angry that i glared at him, :C (he made the birds fly away :flyaway: ), He glared back at me :-C then he showed me his long teeth |
| and i showed him mine. Finally, he glared at me |:S| probably reconized me as his relative, (CHARLE'S DARWIN THEORY) flicked his tail at me missing my nose by few inches and jumped on another tree and went away laughing (i swear). Then i realized that there was a foul smell coming from my left shoulder - turned and looked at my left shoulder - This bloody monkey had the runs and now i smelled to high heaven.Started looking for a stream to wash off the muck, saw a small stream - walked down the bank less then a cubit high, took off my shirt and almost cried when i had to throw the half eaten choc bar. :'D Stupid monkey, lucky i had this tiny piece of soap i think, i stole it from one of the hotels where i had gone for a doctors meeting. Washed the t-shirt and hung it up on a branch to dry and as i turned this harmless looking snake dived through my legs into the stream and i was startled and fell backwards on my rear end. When i looked up after the fall this stone was peeping between my legs - Thank god it missed my ... , then i heard this loud tearing sound and my rear was getting wet (Oh No) my canvas shorts had split from between the legs to my rear up to the belt loop behind. Got up by holding on to the stone and checked by peeping between my legs thank god all parts were there. Now how do i go back to the car and then have food and not forgetting that to-day(31.08.2005) was independent day for Malaysia and there will be hoards of people at the main area (I am dead). Then I had this brilliant idea - ausi hats are great - I opened the chin strap put both my legs through the chin strap and ajusted the hat on my rear end and pull the chin strap tight (left the chin strap hanging in front) and pressed the button and locking it, the hat covered my rear and i picked up my things and went to the car park. On the way a family group past me some of them asked - Hi Doc Birding ah, then one of the small brat asked me- Doctor why are you wearing the hat behind - the hot sun is falling on your partially bold head, I growled :-C and said this is the new fashion for birding - the hat chases the birds away thus i am hiding the hat, As some of them moved passed me there was a lot of sniffing (I don't know why). Got in my car opened my windows (all four) the poo smell was hell. Drove to the restaurant and there were two tables occupied and there was District Officer and his family - hi doc and they refused to shake my hand (the smell was following me) then i called the waiter, who was a clown he stood 10feet away from me and was bending 90degrees backwards, took my order. I went to answer natures call, washed and went back to my table, as i passed the D.O's table his small son shouted doctor is wearing RED UNDER WEAR the hat had slipped up from my rear end - now i know why i was feeling tightness inside, i had worn my 12years old red jockey underwear in the dark, picked up my things and bolted for the car
. Then called mom and collapsed with laughter in the car with the phone left on - my mother must be thinking that i have gone loony. (Mean an't I |})| )Now I know some of you will be laughing at me so please make me laugh by sending your funny stories while birding but only birders, birds, wild animals and mother nature.YOU HERE
P.S The bird with curved beak and yellowish white around the eyes was uploaded for bird i.d. in birdforum - They are still cracking their heads and there is a rumour that they are cleaning their GUNS to shoot me when and if I go for the Birdfair 2006 (especailly Dave B). 3
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