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Some help and comments please on first oil (1 Viewer)

colleenc

colleenc

Well-known member
I did this as the final work on my 100 birds challenge on another forum completed about a month ago. It's my first oil painting of birds, and is Ok, it has the corms the way they looked and the channel between two big rock forms, where the seas surge up and down about 15 ' each wave....but somehow it's not quite right and I don't know about changing it.
One idea I had was to change the lower corm, and untuck the head so it reads more easily. You'll have to imagine in more subtle tones in the water, the highlights are blown out by the camera, however the structure of the foam is correct, I hung out over the cliff and did several studies of it, It's a pretty wild place...

Any ideas from anyone appreciated....maybe it's just never going to quite work out, it could be the composition is just not solveable, but I can keep it as a record of how the place is...I do think I did a great job on the droppings....maybe that' my forte:-O

12x16 oil on panel
 

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yes you may be right about the bottom bird, perhaps have it looking up towards other bird...just showing the bill will make it more prominent, but what a great painting, love the water & composition of the birds.. I can hear the waves from here ...thanks mark.
 
You know I love this - utterly. It speaks to me about places I know and love and the orms are really well done. I'd be tempted to just leave it, admire it and use it as the huge springboard it will undoubtedly become.
 
i think this is a great painting,astonished that this is your first bird oil...wow thats impressive!.i think when we look at our finished works any serious artist will always look to improve on what weve done,thats what drives us,but i think tim's quite right,this is a great piece and should be left as such taking any lessons learned forward into future works,but what a starting point!
 
A tough decision Colleen. Only you know if it's an itch that has to be scratched. I tend to think that you're right in that the lower corm just doesn't read right. On the other hand I can agree with Clive and Tim that it's a great start for your first oil and that you might want to just leave it as is and consider it a springboard for future work.

If is an itch that you just have to scratch then I think your and Mark's idea is good. Untuck the bill of the lower corm so that it's easier to read and might interact with the upper bird a bit more. I do wonder too if lightening it up just a bit might help? I really do hesitate to suggest what anyone else should do. So please ignore this if it doesn't ring true to you. In the end the decision is yours, and I'm sure you'll make the right one!

Ken
 
oh too late, I already agreed with Mark, and painted out the head, when it's dry enough I'm changing the position of the lower one, and tweaking the water a bit more...I'll post it again with the changes and you can see if it's better. Thanks for the input.:)
 
I made the changes, the new head which relates the birds to one another, lightened the lower bird and tweaked the sea........ I def think it works better now.

I'm still happy with the water too, I went out to look again yesterday...it's not bad for my first seascape, I think doing a lot more studies will make it stronger in the future.

thanks for the comments.....
 

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that's the spirit! I agree with the change, but if you hadn't decided to change it, it would have still read as a great painting, but just a little more tricky to move through the space as the 'back-to-us' cormorant commanded the attention and kept it on himself.

This is a wonderful piece of work - as Tim says, it speaks to him about places that he loves - same here. This could be Wales for me (lived there for 6 years and still wish I lived there). Looking forward to seeing more.
 
Congratulations Colleen! It's always good to trust your gut on such changes, make them, and then find you that your gut was right! I always find that you grow as an artist when you go ahead and risk ruining something in the interest of making it better. Though of course it doesn't ALWAYS turn out better. Still you grow from doing it.

On the other hand I'm sure we all can stand to learn when to leave well enough alone. In this case though I think the painting clearly shows you made the right decision. It looks great.
 
thanks Nick and Ken, glad you like it. I used to worry about "ruining" a work and if its a commission I still do. But when I'm painting free I'm always willing to ruin it to see what else can be done. If it goes south so be it, I still have the learning and that's THE most important thing to me.
 
done mean to be pedantic, but I prefered the first one... I like the idea of the cormorant grooming his chest, and thought you captured it well... I would be very proud of the painting personally.... the sea and cliffs are brilliant... but I still like the first pic best... Paul
 
Well maybe a birder would know and like how the first one was done, but I have a little show coming up where there will be more kinds of people, and having lived with it for a month, I never felt the composition worked visually, my eye just got stuck on that bird...so I could do another sometime, if I did I'd pull into the birds more so I could show more detail of that pose, it is typical of the bird.
Thanks for your comment Paul
 
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