[nigelblake]

You know you are a bird photographer when: -



1) You set your alarm for 3:30 am and wake up 5 minutes before it goes off!

2) Your car is full of filling station sandwich packing and Coke/Dr Pepper cans.

3) When you think £6,000-00 is a reasonable price for a lens.

4) When you go on a beach holiday and come home with un-tanned camera outline on your face.

5) You will happily sit by a river all day, freezing your nuts off, in order to photograph Kingfishers, but think anglers are mad!

6) There is more film than food in your fridge!

7) Your home looks as if a grenade has gone off in it, but the PC and camera are spotless.

8) The only polished area on the car is where the beanbag rests on the window ledge.

9) You have the worst sick leave record in the office.

[birdman]

[Andy Bright]

Possibly in bad taste, sorry.... but,
You know you're a bird photographer when the divorce papers come through.
Andy B

[birdman]

APPLICATION TO BE ILL

This form should be submitted at least 21 days before the date on which you wish the illness to commence.

NAME ___________________
EMPLOYEE NO. ______________________

DEPARTMENT ___________________
POSTION HELD ______________________

DATE YOU WISH ILLNESS TO COMMENCE _________________________________

NATURE OF ILLNESS YOU WISH TO COMMENCE _________________________________

(Applications to suffer pregnancy must be submitted 12 months prior and must be accompanied by form no. WS/36/24/9B Consent of Husband / Wife / Significant Other)

HAVE YOU EVER APPLIED TO SUFFER FROM THIS ILLNESS BEFORE? ___________

IF SO, PLEASE GIVE DATE ____________________________________________

DO YOU WISH THE ILLNESS TO BE SLIGHT/SEVERE/CRIPPLING/FATAL? ___________

IF ILLNESS IS NOT FATAL, DO YOU WISH TO BE CONSIDERED FOR A PERMANENT DISABILITY? ____________________________________________

(Applicants wishing to suffer a fatal illness should indicate on form WS/36/24/9C whether they wish The General Hospital and/or Company Board of Directors to be represented at the Funeral/Cremation)

DO YOU WISH TO SUFFER FROM THIS ILLNESS AT HOME, HOSPITAL, COSTA BRAVA, SOUTHEND, ITALY, PRESTON, RHYL OR CLACTON. ___________________________

DO YOU WISH THE ILLNESS TO BE OF A CONTAGIOUS NATURE? ________________

IF YOUR ANSWER TO THE ABOVE QUESTION IS YES, PLEASE IDENTIFY THE PEOPLE YOU WISH TO INFECT _________________________________________

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN REFUSED PERMISSION TO SUFFER FROM AN ILLNESS? _____

IF SO, GIVE DETAILS _________________________________________

DO YOU WISH YOUR HUSBAND / WIFE TO BE INFORMED OF YOUR ILLNESS (if he / she contacts the company regarding your whereabouts)? ________________________________

I, the undersigned, declare that to the best of my knowledge the answers given above are true and accurate.

SIGNED ___________________
DATE ___________________


Applicants are reminded that all applications will be considered on merit and that more than three applications per annum will be considered excessive and not in the best interests of the company. Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES will any employee be permitted to suffer more than ONE fatal illness.

WS/36/24/9A

[Cindy M]

I can relate to this one all too well- thanks for the smiles Nigel

[Chicaddd]

I got a real laugh out of them. I have not gotten that far yet but I am starting to feel like I am close. <BG>

Gawd Nigel that is absolutely true about almost all of it here too! <sigh>

[bcurrie]

Hey, I resent (oops, I mean resemble) those remarks! Nigel, would you quit following me around. (I don't have the most sick time, but I have quite a lot of vacation time that I can take.)

[nigelblake]

When you spend 2 hours wading in the river in your best suit in order to photograph a Dipper, and have to drive home with no trousers on.

[Charles Harper]

I'm gonna steal a couple, Nigel, for my realbirder list. They're great... and I'm gonna buy a camera someday, too...