[Renze de Vries]

Originally Posted by Robert / Seattle

I just had a look at them on ebay, and I've got to tell you: if you're into cheap plastic crap, this could be an exciting collector's discovery. Authentic "Swiss" Navy Binoculars, made by Xiang Guang! Now that spells quality. No wonder they're already up to their starting bid of 9.99 GBP with a day to go!

I seem to remember BF-subscriber Pinewood once mentioned his brother bought them (for his children?). So it's possible he checked them out.

I do see at least one good thing: the cheerful colours. Sometimes I get the impression people are looking through binoculars because it's depressing to look at them. Not so with these.

Renze

[Renze de Vries]

And the same holds for the accompanying Swiss navy uniform.

[Robert / Seattle]

Originally Posted by Renze de Vries

... I do see at least one good thing: the cheerful colours. Sometimes I get the impression people are looking through binoculars because its depressing to look at them. Not so with these. ... Renze

"Cheerful colours?" Besides the box, are we talking about the same thing? --

http://search.ebay.com/swiss-navy-bi...sPageNameZWD2S

[Renze de Vries]

I'm so sorry. Because I was only interested in the box, I never looked any further.
So the cruel truth is you'll buy yourself a nice, colourful box with a cheerful pair of binoculars pictured on it, and inside you'll find a black monster.

I don't like this at all.

Renze

[normjackson]

Bet you hadn't noticed Renze de Vries is an anagram of : synesthesia.
That's it, I'm off to the tobogganist now for some ciggies...

[Robert / Seattle]

Originally Posted by Renze de Vries

I'm so sorry. Because I was only interested in the box, I never looked any further.
So the cruel truth is you'll buy yourself a nice, colourful box with a cheerful pair of binoculars pictured on it, and inside you'll find a black monster.

I don't like this at all.

Renze

And that's why the Compte de Buffon invaded Liechtenstein via the most melodious Julie Andrews Pass, resulting in the tragic incident on Lake Geneva with the Burgermeister's daughter - for which I already apologized.

See how it all fits together now?

[ThoLa]

Originally Posted by Robert / Seattle

You mean the incident involving the Burgermeister's daughter? So sorry! I can explain that.

I am sure you can


I think I've heard the story before:

"I stood under your bedroom window
Throwing up a brick
No one came I threw one more
That really did the trick

Your daddy came and banged my head
He said what kind of man
Is this that's hanging 'round my girl
And threw me in the can

You're a farmer's daughter
You're a farmer's daughter
Why do I always get
The kinda girl I didn't oughta get
I won't get no more eggs and water
Now I've laid the farmer's daughter

Imagine I was a full-grown man
And I could talk just right
Could I come and see you here
And do this every night

Wham! The door comes crashing down
Your daddy's face all pale
Says come with me you hairy bum
I'll put you in my jail

You're a judge's daughter
You're a judge's daughter
Why do I always get
The kinda girl I didn't oughta v et
Now I'm getting jail and torture
'Cause I made the judge's daughter

It seems they're screaming law and order
When I go with anyone's daughter

Woman I should like some peace
And daddy hold your tongue
I think you're gonna die of fright
When I tell you what I've done

I can hear your tales and lies
You say I'm dumb and scraggy
But man this dumb and scraggy is
Your daughter's baby's daddy

She's a lucky daughter
Such a lucky daughter
Why did I always get
The kinda girl I didn't wanna get
Now I've got what I always fought for
'Cause I've married a rich man's daughter"

(Music&Lyrics: Deep Purple)

[ThoLa]

Originally Posted by Robert / Seattle

resulting in the tragic incident on Lake Geneva with the Burgermeister's daughter - for which I already apologized.
See how it all fits together now?

I think someone must have been sitting in a tree with a pair of those famous Swiss Navy Binoculars overseeing what happened to the mayor's daughter, so we will shortly get an eye-witness report in due course.
Robert, you are lucky the HBI (Helvatic Bureau of Investigation) at that time had been busy with another tragic affair.
It was the tragic event I was referring to in the first place:
I was at the library to check a few technical details about the swiss air-craft carrier "SOS* Alphorn". From the ASA** - a major reference work of maritime mountaineering - I learned that the Confederatio Helvetica in addition to their air-craft carrier also onced had a submarine - the "SHS Emmental***", which sank during its first test run on Lake Geneva (Robert, if you had not been so busy with the mayor's daughter you'd know about it).
All the unlucky vessel, meant to be the emerald in the crown of Switzerland's Navy, left was a string of bubbles that rose to the lake's surface.

The commission that investigated the catastrophe discovered that the accident had been caused by the sub's new periscope. The swiss navy had equipped the Emmental with a brandnew Swarovsky EL-type periscope which had holes and slits that let in water which restricted the boat's diving capabilities to 1. The chairman of that prestigious commission has posted the results of the investigation on another BF thread.
The american physicist Feynman who also discovered the cause of the Challenger space-shuttle explosion pointed out that the Geneva disaster could have been prevented had the holes in the periscope been sealed with molten swiss fondue cheese.
Rumours have it Swarovski will certify this material for use on its binoculars, too (patent pending).

That's all, folks, for today's news show from old Europe.

Uncle Tom


*Switzerland's Only Ship
**Alpine Seafaring Almanach
***Switzerland's Heavierthanwater Submarine

[Robert / Seattle]

Tom, Norm, Renze ---

I can see from the clock that you're all just starting your day as I am just now setting off to bed (damn you, round planet!). So I will pick this up in the Pacific coast AM, but will leave Tom with a question for the time being:

This periscope "thingy" on Lago Putana -- did it suffer from a "jerky focus wheel"?

[ThoLa]

Originally Posted by Robert / Seattle

This periscope "thingy" on Lago Putana -- did it suffer from a "jerky focus wheel"?

Switzerland's soldiers are the world's most sought-after snipers ... because they are sooo relaxed (even when un-doped). The down-side is: before the swiss captain focussed his periscope the US Navy would turn the Nimitz by 180 degrees. That's why the SHS Emmental had a fix-focus periscope (custom-made) and an automatic gear-box.
The logo on the periscope was not the usual Swaro Harrier but a Red Herring.

Admiral Blackbeard

[ThoLa]

Originally Posted by Renze de Vries

Thank you Tom, for quoting a song on Birdforum. With all its beautiful repeats it reminds me strongly of a certain bird singing in my garden for the last couple of years. But not this year! So this fills a gap, Im happy.

Renze

Given the association with the above-mentioned disco hit, I suppose it was a gay song ...... the bird in the garden.

Tom

[ThoLa]

Originally Posted by Robert / Seattle

(damn you, round planet!).

What a silly remark!
Of course it is round.
All discs are round!
That' why they are called platenets in the first place.
A nice round disc is probably the best that could be achieved during six days of moulding primeval clay.
What did you expect - an octagon?
Today's customers - ever so demanding, ever so exacting.
Be glad and grateful that you are lucky enough to live on the top side; if you lived on the bottom side the first thing every morning you'd had to do was to put glue on the soles of your shoes.

[Swissboy]

Oh, and how are the birds going to handle that? After all, we're discussing this in BF.

[rosbifs]

I worked near Montreaux (still can't spell it mind) and I think I'm right in saying one of the islands on the lake belongs to England/Britain (which ever is the pc way of describing it) perhaps the navy patrol the exclusion zone around this??
As for the birds - perhaps should consider chartering one of the boats for a jolly on Lac Leman. There are numerous water birds for one. You can also put the binoculars to great use and kill two birds with one stone.......

[Robert / Seattle]

Gentlemen,

Right now, I've got nothin'!

Norm, I fully appreciate your reference to the "toboggonist". Very "Spot on", "silly sketch, let's all move on, then" -- abosolutely nostalgic and brilliant.

Tom, I'm afraid I'm going to have to visit the Library of Congress to adequately review your historical references. I CAN keep up with you, but ONLY with a nine hour round planet time lag for additional research and cerebro-comical commentary. You are one smart and funny man! May Darwin Bless you! (Your CD collection must be obscenely wonderful)!

Renze, You are a sweet man. If I were more like you I'd be a better person.

SwissBoy -- these are your waters, literally. So I shall tread water softly, out of respect for your beautiful and sublime country, until my punchline is fully concocted, hillarious to all - offensive to none (yeh, right, good luck with that Robert/Seattle!).

OK, all -- more soon! Got to do my homework!

[Renze de Vries]

Dear friends,

Thank you very much for your wonderful contributions.
This thread has come to the sublime level of complete incomprehensibility. As it should of course.
So I'm out.
I have two other, more serious subjects in store, for which I have to collect all my limited abilities. You're very much invited to join me on these.

Renze (not so sweet in real life)

[normjackson]

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cg...s025313D31.DTL

[ThoLa]

Originally Posted by normjackson

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cg...s025313D31.DTL

Rule, Switzerland! Switzerland, rule the waves!
Swissies never, never, never shall be slaves!
Rule, Switzerland! Switzerland, rule the waves!
Swissies never, never, never shall be slaves!