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Izal Toilet Roll would be better value for money in this present crisis

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Old Sunday 29th March 2020, 20:36   #1
IAN JAMES THOMPSON
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Izal Toilet Roll would be better value for money in this present crisis

Donít you think if the Izal Toilet Roll was brought back in this present crisis as it was always better value for money and for obvious reasons always lasted much longer and that would be an excellent idea for that reason to bring back the Izal? 😉😉😉😉😉
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Old Sunday 29th March 2020, 20:48   #2
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No, from memory at Junior school in the mid 60s it did not perform the job required of toilet tissues as I was taught at home. Especially as we had itchy grey shorts and long grey socks as part of the uniform to boot. Horrendous invention - medicated and shiny it acted more like a plasterer's float!, it was useless, as was the red Lifebuoy soap and cold water.....grim times.
I shall have nightmares tonight, thanks.

Oh yes, and the horrible wooden toilet roll holders than spun on heavy duty coat hanger wire, all coming back now. Free 1/3rd pint of full fat milk in glass bottles, it's making me shudder.
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Old Monday 30th March 2020, 05:50   #3
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The best thing about Izal when I was growing up was that you could use it as tracing paper, it's how I got started in doing artwork, illustrations etc. in my spare time. As for its real purpose Pyrtle has summed it up brilliantly.
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Old Monday 30th March 2020, 08:08   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PYRTLE View Post
No, from memory at Junior school in the mid 60s it did not perform the job required of toilet tissues as I was taught at home. Especially as we had itchy grey shorts and long grey socks as part of the uniform to boot. Horrendous invention - medicated and shiny it acted more like a plasterer's float!, it was useless, as was the red Lifebuoy soap and cold water.....grim times.
I shall have nightmares tonight, thanks.

Oh yes, and the horrible wooden toilet roll holders than spun on heavy duty coat hanger wire, all coming back now. Free 1/3rd pint of full fat milk in glass bottles, it's making me shudder.
Pat

Thank you for this pungent trip down memory lane, or is it up the back alley?
Izal provided endless amusement as you tried to wipe and scoop in order to avoid the dreaded 'skid marks' on your underwear. Squatting on bent legs as you made futile wiping motions built up your calf and thigh muscles and was character-building. Young folks today have no idea what they are missing.

But what on earth was wrong with the one-third pint of milk? This was also character-building as the milk froze outside in winter so you had to carry it about and be patient until it melted and definitely resist the temptation to slip it down a girl's blouse, motivated by urges that you didn't quite understand and which you justified to the teacher by claiming 'I thought it would de-frost more quickly down there sir'.

Happy memories.
Apart from the Izal.

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Old Monday 30th March 2020, 08:41   #5
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Our milk was limited to the first year primary.

You turkey basters of north Norfolk were obviously better treated than us Suffolkits.

As for warming it up in some cleavage that didn't exist either....
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Old Monday 30th March 2020, 08:59   #6
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Probably cause I was the year milk monitor and had to carry the crates in on winter days wearing my poorly knitted fingerless gloves ( aged 9 years, so girls were a nuisance and only included when forced to partner for country dancing ). On the side, I ran the newly formed Tuck shop and was selling proper real Wagon Wheels (rejects) made by Burtons on the nearby Slough Trading Estate, 12 iced gems for 1d and satchets of brightly coloured flavourings for the dreaded milk. Happy days. My father tried to introduce Izal into the family home ( careful with money ), thankfully mother put paid to that after a huge row involving his daily packet of 20 Players Navy cigarettes.
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Old Monday 30th March 2020, 09:15   #7
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Izal was still the Civil Service standard in 1984 when I joined. Its removal was won by the unions, reason sufficient to be a member in my view. Shocking stuff. Quite apart from its inability to fulfil its actual function, an entire nation sporting bleeding backsides is not what we need right now.

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Old Monday 30th March 2020, 10:34   #8
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It's great to see the subject matter featuring in multiple birdforum threads.

I was thinking it was before my time, and maybe it was, but I then remembered back in secondary school (sometime in the late 80's?) we had 'mock elections' in our year or even the whole school. As I recall myself and another kid decided that our platform was on a campaign to change the loo rolls from the scratchy joke that was de rigeur still then. We won. Beating all the other (more) popular kids with their campaigns to have free vending machines and whatnot.

It was a shame it was only a virtual campaign, and we didn't actually have the power to influence things (to the disappointment of many of our voters). Maybe we did make a difference though in the years after we had left with the powers that were ... it would be nice to think so anyway.
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Old Monday 30th March 2020, 12:05   #9
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My music college composition tutor suggested that I should embrace some of the dafter ideas of John Cage and Karlheinz Stockhausen. (These are not dissimilar to the preposterous "installations" of Tracey Emin and the Britart movement.)

Things called "graphic scores" were all the rage - instead of using conventional musical notation, blobs of colours were used to represent (very vaguely) composers' intentions.

I decided to make a score, not in the form of a book, but on a long roll of paper. Using two spindles placed 30cm apart, the "score" was rolled from one spindle to another, like a moving image.

Izal toilet paper was the only brand stocked in the local shop, so I bought a roll. I hadn't noticed the work "medicated" on the wrapper.

5 years before, I suffered a head injury which resulted in me losing my sense of smell, meaning I didn't notice the awful "medicated" pong as I unfurled the roll to write my score.

My tutor's and my peers' reaction to the first (and only) performance of my masterpiece was to pull faces and/or to hold their noses in, as I thought, disdain.

Only later did I discover that my ego had been bruised because of the aroma of the score, not the content of the composition.

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Old Monday 30th March 2020, 12:12   #10
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This makes me remember my “little grandma” who always used Izal, despite living into the 1990s and with us for over 20 years!

She “got used to it” in the War!
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Old Monday 30th March 2020, 12:13   #11
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Given the recent chaos, I think even Izal would have slipped off the shelves as quickly as it did off our arses.
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