You are over thinking this, the problem is that the keyboard is so impersonal, you can insult someone very readily without knowing your doing it, emoji's are supposed to help but they are not sufficient if you are dealing with someone who is less able to grasp the situation than you.
I have been around forums for a long time and I have in one form or another had interaction with every sort of person on the planet, the majority are just wanting a quiet life and try to get along with everyone, then you get the people who like to argue every point because they think they are smarter than the people they are replying to, then you get the sensation seekers, they like to grab attention and write mostly billix looking for a reaction, after this you have the Key board warriors, who want to beat the crap out of you and tell you just that, trouble is when you turn up at oh I don't know say the Birdfair they make themselves very scarce behind stands when they see you coming, then you have the people who really have problems in their life outside of the internet, they usually appear late at night pissed as a hand cart telling everyone about what's going on in their life and no one is listening or cares, then you get the ones on medication for all manner of reasons, depression, anxiety etc... no matter what you say to them its usually never enough and it can become personal by PM or mail,some really do need to seek professional help and i'm not joking when I say there are genuine cases of self harm and worse that we have had to deal with.
I feel sorry for the shy people who lurk for months then pluck up enough courage to post a picture and ask a question, they are immediately shot down in flames by the usual suspects who know" its a leucistic blackbird" then congratulate themselves on telling another "blue tit stroker" then carry on patrolling the forums looking for another victim.
Some on this forum your so called "hard core birders" call this turd forum or other names because its cool to do so,
they wouldn't be seen dead on here,............until ? ........a rare bird turns up then there they are, all of them all with false names or aliases all glued to the Rare Bird section all scared to death in case they are rumbled!!? if someone dares to post a picture and its not a magpie or a blackbird then they all shut up shop like those things on rocks in the sea that disappear if you touch them, god forbid they could have a stab at the bird because they don't want to be seen posting on BF and god forbid their precious reputation would be in tatters if they got it wrong, well I got news for them, no one gives a fat rats arse, its a hobby or interest, not an operating theatre.
So in all the years I have administered sites I have tried to be fair and not to get to close to the members, I was when I was younger much less patient than I am now, and I hit the ban button far to liberally at one time, but as one gets older things like this become less important, and who really gives a damn once you have logged off for the night.
The world is full of different people and as in life you choose who you want to be friends or associate with, truth is I would probably like most if not all of you in the real world, but on here i don't give you a second thought after I log off, in fact its sometimes a chore to log on to read all the reported post's.
Bottom line is its all about toleration for all the personality types on here, seriously we are not to bothered about he says she says, we can't all agree with each other and thats what a forum is all about, BUT if you see outright bullying or you feel you are being bullied then drop me or any of the moderators a line, we can sort it one way or the other.
Finally try and remember in the scheme of things especially in todays world, that this forum or for that matter any forum is not a matter of life or death, it is a group of people passing the time talking about things that interest the thats all ?!
Switch off look at the news then come back here happy that you can.