7 April: Friday 1
Thanks all for kind comments (and patience!)
End of the first week and end of our stay in Eilat. We packed the car early and set off North out of town to have yet another go at the fields around Yotvata, where once again we found no new birds (though a male Redstart gave us a good show and Maz caught up Arabian Babbler, like she was bothered.....)
Off across the Negev desert. Miles and miles of sand, much of it earmarked for tank driving and gunnery, with the no stopping concrete blocks conspicuous everywhere and rows of actual tanks lined up in apparently the middle of nowhere, awaiting their crews dropping in for a spot of training from wherever their barracks might be. I guess tank theft is rare.....
I would have liked a closer look and some pix, but house rules prevented the thought even being voiced. Conversation had dropped away with the lack of interesting features (such as plants, buildings, mountains, animals or pretty much anything else) so it was with some relief that we heard Steve utter the time-honoured traveller's mantra: "I spy, with my little eye..."
I can't remember even what the answer turned out to be, but the trouble was, as Jeff pointed out acidly, that Steve couldn't see it, and moreover as he eventually admitted, hadn't seen it: we had unexpectedly found ourselves playing a different game altogether that required a good deal more inventiveness! Off Jeff went with a heavily sarcastic "I can't spy with my little eye, something beginning with Zed", proceeded to deny all our guesses, eventually revealed what he couldn't spy, immediately reeled off the initial of something else he couldn't spy.... and repeat - and repeat..... it turned into about a twenty minute inspired almost continuous rant in which nobody ever guessed what he couldn't see and he interspersed his challenges with remarks about "playing the game", the general lunacy of humanity and so on. We were in stitches, its pretty much impossible to get across just how funny his monologue was. It made the miles pass easily, anyway.
Suddenly we were approaching an escarpment of crumbling sandstone, with a town on the top of it - which must mean the road goes up it - oh, Lor' look at that..... A series of hairpins stitched back and forth across the cliff before trailing off to the left for the final ascent. Maz and I are not great at this sort of thing! But d'you know what? It wasn't an issue. We drove up the road, which was well protected with substantial barriers and whose hairpins were actually quite wide and smooth, without a single squeak, let alone full on screaming. And just the other side of Mitzpe Ramon, the town perched on the escarpment, we found a Long-legged Buzzard sitting on a boulder as we steamed along the road. Of course it flew as soon as we got turned round and came back for it, but we tumbled out of the doors and opened fire with the big lenses as quickly as possible. For me this was Bird of the Day.
After that we continued for quite a long way, through slightly more amenable habitat varying from irrigated fields and date palm plantations, minor streams lined with trees and steep hillsides with low bushes to undulating mixtures of desert sand, sparse grasses and scrub varying from knee to head height.
Eventually we found Nizzana Fortress, though my eye looked at the ruins with their large windows and thought governor's palace, not fort: eventually it transpired this wasn't far wrong. A scan with bins (it was by now too hot to think of climbing the steps to the ancient ruins) revealed a good deal of the standing remains were pock-marked with machine gun fire, though whether the result of actual warfare or live-fire training wasn't clear. What we couldn't find despite driving all over the area on and off road, was the Nizzana sewage pools at which we hoped to pick up some more sandgrouse species in the morning.
So we gave that up for a while and instead hunted for, and found, the railway wagon that is the viewpoint for the jewel of the Negev: Macqueen's Bustard. Needless to say, in the heat of the day, we didn't find the bustard itself, though we did give the terrain a good grilling: we've all been present at too many places where a specific time window is specified but seen the bird outside it not to have a proper go - but on this occasion it didn't work.
By now we thought perhaps it was time we went to our next accommodation, which was booked for three nights. During that time we had plans for night drives for mammals, as well as staking out a vulture restaurant for scavenging carnivores, so it bid fair to be exciting. Steve had GPS co-ordinates for the place, so he fed those into his phone satnav and away we went. The guidance took us to a fenced village, and the written directions within it said to find the yellow bus (that was easy, big yellow bus just inside the gate) and ring the accommodation proprietor. But the trouble was, the directions also mentioned going past a barrier, a playground, and stopping by a building of some sort, and that didn't fit with the location of the bus. We did an orbit of the inside of the village and ended up back by the bus.
So we rang the proprietor, and assured him we were by the bus, and he said he couldn't see us. So we drove round again and at one point he said he could see us and he was waving: well, even with bins we couldn't see a man waving. And he didn't actually believe us when we returned to the bus and told him we were right next to it! There was some stuff about him riding a bike to find us, which then coincided with someone riding a bike towards us - but he gave us a funny look when we stared at him all the way in.....
It dawned on Steve and Jeff that, GPS directions or not, we were in the wrong village. So after a while and with tempers rising on our side while our host was sounding stressed and confused, we bolted out of the village, along the main road past the fields and into the next one along. We drove the length of that and there was a man waving at us, in front of a yellow bus. A very old, run-down, decrepit yellow bus that seemed to have been sort of converted into a - what? Caravan? Mobile home? Non-mobile home?
Holy God. That is the accommodation. It's a bus. It's a ****ing bus!!!! I literally don't believe I'm seeing this. I know the booking said Negev Bus, but I don't speak Hebrew and for all I know "Bus" means "small hamlet in the desert".
But it doesn't. We're going to spend three nights living in a godalmighty effing bus in a village in the Negev Desert. Maybe its been professionally converted and it's actually quite luxurious.
But it wasn't. It had been converted, yes, but the advertising material claimed it had "rooms" and frankly it didn't. The driver's position was still there, and access truly was via the front door, up the steps past said driver's position to find immediately behind the driver, a small booth to seat four, two each side of a formica-topped table. On the other side was a sink and small food preparation work surface along with a tiny gas stove. The gas supply was an industrial size calor gas cylinder strapped to the outside back of the bus. Our instructions were to turn the supply off at the cylinder every time we left the bus.
Immediately aft of the "kitchen" was the "bathroom" - the only actual enclosed room in the bus - approximately two feet by four feet it contained a toilet, a washbasin and a shower area and I'm absolutely not lying: there was not space for two people, and one was a tight fit, whatever system they were going to use! Trying to shower was going to be a full-on nightmare with arms, shoulders and other bits bouncing off the walls throughout. The toilet was a chemical effort with a lid that closed sideways when nobody was in position (you had to scoot your backside backwards to get it to open once sitting: normal male standing use for a pee was impossible. Bleeding bloody hell.
Behind the bathroom the floor area opened up into what was laughably referred to as the dressing area and extra bedroom, where one lucky person had a sofa bed inside which lurked an ancient mattress to deploy on the floor for the other. Then a row of cupboards provided some privacy, though no closing door shut off the main "bedroom" with its double bed at the back of the bus.
There was bed linen provided. It was gopping. If you threw it at the wall it would have stuck. By now we were in shellshock, and didn't complain. It's for three nights. It will be all right. Jesus Christ.
And still the day was not over, but I need to get this memory out of my head before I continue and finish it off.
John