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BIRDING TRIP TO F.R.I.M. and a lady with double the size of Dolly Parton's brea.....

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Old Wednesday 9th August 2006, 14:28   #1
Dr Manjeet Singh
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BIRDING TRIP TO F.R.I.M. and a lady with double the size of Dolly Parton's brea.....

BIRDING TRIP TO F.R.I.M,a LADY WITH TWIN TOWERS DOUBLE THE SIZE OF DOLLY PARTON'S Brea.. and bad weather-BELIEVE IT OR NOT

Decided to go to F.R.I.M (Forest Reserve Inst. of Malaysia) on 23th.07.06.
Got up at 6.30am and quitely started to take my shower- stupid me WHY quietly, my family has gone on a holiday. Started singing Jail House Rock at the top of my voice,heard a few shoes being thrown at my bathroom window from my neighbours and LOUD KNOCKING at my bath door (Oh my God forgot Mom) -opened the door partially and she was shouting-I used to bath you and CLEAN YOUR SOILED DIAPERS - hidding from me.YOU IDIOT dont you know that i was sleeping and my son YOUR VIOCE CAN RAISE THE DEAD you know-get out fast and go, if i cant sleep in half an hour YOUR T.D.1 goes out of the window.-have i made my self clear-in record time i got ready and went down and left every thing in the car.Then ran up to Mom's room tickled her and gave a huge hug while she was shouting -LET ME GO YOU BEAR RUG-ran down shouting -Mom the T.D.1 is in the car safe.(i am mean and loving son).Now started to sing loudly as i left and a few more shoes being thrown at my car(neighbours) but WHO CARES_I DONT .
Picked up my walking brewiery and off we were to FRIM-it is about one hour from klang a place called Sg.Buloh -reached there early-waited till 8am and drove in.(Never go on a Sunday-was already crowded with people.

Parked my car near a show house made of wood(Tourist attraction-village house)-hear the sounds of birds and forgot every thing else.

Saw Straw headed bulbul,(pic;s not clear),Yellow-vented Bulbul,heard a cooing of a Pink-necked Pigeon and then heard the laughter of the White-throated Kingfisher.

Let every thing soak in and became tuned with nature-now i was ready(ah).
Walked around for a while enjoying the birds sound and then headed for the Closed Rest House-used a pen-knife to open the rusty gate(old habit die hard-ah).Parked the car just half way in the gate and walked up towards the tree near the lawn(unkept).Just about 60 feet from the tree saw Blue-billed ,with streaks of yellow strips on the wings i think.It had faint blue eye-ring-Oh my -my First Banded Broadbill,took about 25 shots because the sky was cloudy(hope some are o.k.) and then decided to get closer-off it flew.Then spied a 2nd tree about 40 feet away and almost at 20 feet saw my first Gold-Whiskered Barbet(took about 20pics)(guys and girls it wasnt easy-the hord of mozies were following me as usual).

By the time it was 11.55am(how time passes while birding).Noticed my walking brewiery looking through my old battered bins down the hill at a stream near the back of the house.

Shouted at him-come and have a some ale(tuttley's ale my fav.) but got no response-funny this guy when you shout ale he comes running with a broad grin. Quitely walked up behind him-oh my he was watching some ladies bathing with what nature had given them at the stream about 600 feet away-Rapped him on the head and grabed the bins and told him to come ( I wish he wasnt here so i could watch-naughty ant i).

Went to the lawn in front and set down under the tree-took a long swallow of the cool ale-oh my-just as i lowered the can that bird came and set on a branch 15 feet away on the tree i was setting under-Oh God-A Black-and- Yellow Broadbill by the time i got up it had flown away-drowned my self in ale(crying).

Then decided to go to another area at rendom-there was this banglow on a hill -drove up there and parked my car under a huge tree just out side the place(the tree was at least 60 feet high)-there was no gate and i could see a fruiting tree at the edge of the land close to the jungle with a small stream running down.Walked in as if i owned the place-a man came running out and before he could say anything i asked where is your Boss-Tuan(Sir) he has gone to K/L. with his family-Well tell him Dr.Manjeet Singh was here for a few hours of birding(who knows he may tell him-if he tell's him so what-i wont be here-next time i will see him if he there-act confedient-no one will stop you-see how easy it is-ah)

He personally took us to the tree about 60 feet away i set down and decided to have lunch(it was High Noon)-chased it down with another ale.

Then walked to about 30 feet from the tree and saw birds through my scope-
red-eyed bubul(my frist -the bird had aleady a hang-over -red -eyes),crimson-winged woodpecker,striped throated bulbul it was a bird wave my friends, copper-smith barbetand had a glimes of ?chestnut-breasted Molkoha-after a while no birds were left-then walked down to the stream about 80 feet in the jungle and set down-a few minutes later in glides a ?Black Giant Squirrel(i checked i though it was a flying one)-but believe me it glided with the furred sides opened up-set for a while and glided deep into the jungle.Then noticed a leech gorging it self on my rifgt wrist-waited for it to fall off-wrapped a hanky around the wrist to stop the bleeding trickle.

Since it was getting cloudy and windy decided to go but Marmot's words kept ringing in my ears-Manjeet dont go to the canopy walkway(oh why dont i listen)

Well told my walking brewery that we are going to the canopy walkway.Thanked the man and drove for the walkway.

Reached the canopy walkway after huffing and puffing up a 300metrs hill-from the top of the hill-the canopy streaches for 200meters to the other side and is about 30 feet up from the ground.The walk is made out of one broad single plank fixed to ropes and the side walls made of ropes is about 6 feet high-so that we dont fall.Allowed mu side -kick to cross then with my tripod and camera i went across hoping to take a shot of the twin towres-(they say you can get a clear view but as i reached the centre-the wind picked up decided to forgo the shot the walk was swaying.

Just about 10 meters from the other side it started swaying more and i heard a lous scream-quickly crossed over and turned and saw a 300lbs lady at least 6 feet tall,and with chest like twin towers double the size of Dolly Parton's brea...and the walkway was sagging down in the centre and there was a 50% incline on the walkway-.The wind had almost became a gale and the whole canopy was swaying and the lady was screaming away.

Looked for the chap who was supposed to take in this situtation-saw him running down the hill -gone for help.So looked at my brewiery and he edged away-with a sigh i gave him my bacg and the T.D.1 -told him if he dropped this i will kill him.

STARTED WALKING TOWARDS THE CENTRE JUST 10 FEET FROM HER(NEVER GET CLOSE THEY MAY GRAB YOU DUE TO FRIGHT)-i squatted down and shouted at the lady to stop screaming-she stopped but was walking side ways-asked her to turn and face me which she did and the side ropes bulged out and the it swayed.NOW look at me and do what i am doing-i lay flat down face down and she followed(even distrubation of weight) the canopy stopped swaying much more.

Then i told her grab the sides ropes attached to the plank and start pulling your self forward.Well my friends i kept inching back and she kept inching forward(i started breathing again).I kept talking to her and told her that i am a Doctor i wont let any thing happen to her(had she fallen you would have bounced but poor me would have been flatened).

When ever humans get in a position where their lifes are in danger they-scream.void there bodyly waste or they start FARTING-.Well this lady stopped screaming but started fat...believe me the thunder over head couldnt drown her sound and the wind was blowing my way(oh god why me...oh the smell).Finally my feet touched the planking on the other side and my friend helped me up and then went to help the lady.-it took 2hrs-got my Tilley hat and jammed it on my head and saw this guy(guide) had two bouncers from a pub for help i think-i started shouting at him for letting this lady get on the walkway when suddenly
EVERY THING TURNED DARK AND SOFT AND THEN I FELT SOME ONE KISSING(SLOUBRING ALL OVER MY FORE HEAD AND COULDNT BREATH -wrenched my head out from the darkness into day light and saw this lady smiling at me and saying Thank You-told her i was married and then felt the breeze on my partial bold head my Tilley was missing-looked around and saw it pearched on the twin mountains-grabed my hat and my things and bolted down the side of the hill-looked back and couldnt see my brewiery and then saw him 20 feet in front running -so we ran for about a mile and reached the car and collopsed panting.THen he told me that i was bleeding from the fore head and down to my face and beard.

Took my 2nd hanky and wiped it-THE BLOODY LADY WAS CHEWING BEETLE-NUT-that and her saliva was smeared on my face used water to wash my face but with out soap the red stain does not go off.
Got in the car with my red face and started driving towards the gate-then stopped and asked my brewiery i was running because she kissed me -WHY WERE YOU RUNNING-he said Tuan(sir) you are married and she kissed you-i helprd her the last 10feet and i am not married WHAT DO YOU THINK SHE WOULD HAVE DONE TO ME
Both of us collopsed howling with laugher in the car.
LAUGH LIFE IS SHORT.

Also see: Julian for you + a far fetched tale..lol..
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Last edited by Mark Bruce : Tuesday 30th September 2008 at 05:45.
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Old Wednesday 9th August 2006, 17:05   #2
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Thanks for the tale, Dr. Singh. You provided the crew of Peregrine some good entertainment at cocktail hour. We started reminiscing about Malaysia. We didn't stop at Port Klang, but we anchored just before Port Klang between Pulau Pintu Gedong and Pulau Che Mat Zin. We passed Port Klang, and anchored a few more times before reaching (and staying for an extended time) the island of Pangkor. I loved Pangkor! There is a little restaurant off one of the bays that has the best calamari we've had anywhere. We ate at that restaurant four nights in a row. The hornbills in the tress around the restaurant were great! I really miss nasi goreng (I know it's Indonesian, but we got great nasi goreng in Malaysia too).

I also got a kick out of your tree climbing, neighbor scaring, middle of the night story. You sound like a character. I'm not sure I shouldn't feel sorry for your neighbors though!
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Old Wednesday 9th August 2006, 17:33   #3
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You had to ignore my advice, (Are you and Ian related by some chance) and look where it got you in to a tussle with Dolly Partons look alike, smelling some rancid fumes and nearly losing your scope into the bargain.

In future I think myself and your wife should vet any of your birding itinerys or otherwise you will be in for some serious nagging (oops advice I mean) from the pair of us. You are too precious a comodity for us to loose on BF.
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Old Wednesday 9th August 2006, 18:03   #4
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Another great tale!
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Old Wednesday 9th August 2006, 19:52   #5
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Dr M.S.

A great story.

Thanks
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Old Thursday 10th August 2006, 02:45   #6
Dr Manjeet Singh
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THank you all for your comments-and i am glad you-Peregrinator enjoyed it anb Marmot i know you would say I TOLD YOU SO WEll at least i got four of you laughing also thanks to the others who have read it.Regards.
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Old Thursday 10th August 2006, 03:49   #7
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Brilliant! Good to see your getting a taste for the rainforest photography, will take you to Taman Negara next year, but I ain't drinking any of your Tetley's there!

Regards,

James
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Old Thursday 10th August 2006, 05:58   #8
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Great stuff

Been looking forward to reading this since you mentioned it the other day.
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Old Thursday 10th August 2006, 07:01   #9
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Up to your usual high narrative standard, Dr. You do lead an exciting life!
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Old Thursday 10th August 2006, 10:26   #10
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Manjeet, you certainly made me laugh!! I've still got tears running down my face!! What a tale and so well written. Thank you so much for sharing and I hope the leech bite wasn't too painfull! Dolly Parton 2, she was so lucky to have you as her 'Knight in shining Armour' but I'm sure she would have had all the members of BF after her hide if anything untoward had happened to 'our' Dr!!! Thanks for all your comments and keep smiling yourself!! Nora
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Old Friday 11th August 2006, 03:44   #11
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Hilarious tale! Just what I needed after a high-stress day...

Thx Dr.
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Old Friday 11th August 2006, 13:44   #12
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I don't know how you manage to have such exciting/hilarious birding trips. This would be one of the funniest stories I have read for a long time. And as well as all that excitement, you managed to see twice as many birds as I would normally see.
Thanks Manjeet I loved it. Julien
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Old Friday 11th August 2006, 14:28   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by julien
I don't know how you manage to have such exciting/hilarious birding trips. This would be one of the funniest stories I have read for a long time. And as well as all that excitement, you managed to see twice as many birds as I would normally see.
Thanks Manjeet I loved it. Julien
Most Hillarious Story I have ever read Bollywood would pay for the script LMAO and fell down laughing what a Doctor you make and all the Lifers you got to go with it soooooo FUNNY
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Old Friday 11th August 2006, 14:35   #14
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Dear Dr. Singh

I don't think I have ever enjoyed a tale so much as yours. You really need to take a cameraman with you on your birding adventures. I would love to see the pink necked pigeon - we don't have the exotics in our area. As a rehabber, primarily of pigeons, they mean a lot to me whether they're feral or fancy.

Thank you for giving me lots of chuckles this morning.
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Old Friday 11th August 2006, 21:32   #15
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I have had a really bad day all round until I switched my applemac on just for a quick look at Birdforum. Your story Manjeet is absolutely hilarious, I have just read some of your other stories, you are absolutely HILARIOUS!!!!! I am crying with laughter, you should be on the television, you would make an an absolute fortune!!!!! Thank you very very much for making me laugh uncontrollably!!!!!!!!
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Old Friday 11th August 2006, 21:34   #16
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Hey penny Manjeet is a Doctor why would he take a cut in his income to Star on TV ???? :) :) :) but your right he is funny I have read this all Day and its magic
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Old Friday 11th August 2006, 21:37   #17
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*smirks* Heh, this story is just rich.
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Old Friday 11th August 2006, 21:49   #18
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[i]Brilliant story... i can't stop laughing... even now lol...

ps great pics.
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Old Saturday 12th August 2006, 05:35   #19
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Rotflmao
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Old Saturday 12th August 2006, 08:32   #20
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Dolly Parton

Hi Manjeet,

Yes leave me alone with Mum and run off to have fun. Well must join you one day Kid Brother.

A Dolly PArton chewing betel nut. Seen many Dollys in my line of work but a betel nut chewing variety is not very common.

You were lucky not to get smothered by the breast Manjeet....Do be careful Kid.

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Old Saturday 12th August 2006, 18:35   #21
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Hi Manjeet, I just love your short storys ( Joke ) I think you are in the wrong profession. You should be writing books. Then your books could be made into films.
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Old Saturday 12th August 2006, 18:55   #22
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Cheered me up. Most amusing.
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Old Monday 14th August 2006, 23:51   #23
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LOL. If it is going to happen, leave it to happen to you Doc. The tears are still rolling down my face. Thanks for a very, very good read. Given the circumstances, I think you handled everything perfectly including your sudden depth into the darkness
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Old Tuesday 15th August 2006, 03:11   #24
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Doc, Thanks for the great story, I really needed a good laugh tonight and you gave me one!
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Old Tuesday 15th August 2006, 14:58   #25
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This is like reading Kushwant Singh's joke books...Are u related to him...by any chance???
One of the best things I have read in the last few months....Thanx big brother. LOL
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