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Message: <blockquote data-quote="hojpoj" data-source="post: 1658198" data-attributes="member: 79061">2 PARROT JOKESSo there's this fella with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a sailor.  He can swear for 5 minutes straight without repeating himself.  The bird's fowl mouth starts driving his owner crazy.One day, it gets to be too much, so the owner grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!". But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever.  Then the guy gets mad and says, "OK for you!" and locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet. This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of invective that would make a veteran sailor blush.At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer. For the first few seconds there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly gets very quiet.At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door. The bird calmly climbs onto the man's out-stretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on."The man is astounded. He can't understand the transformation that has come over the parrot. Then the parrot says, "By the way, pardon me for asking, but what did the chicken do?"---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------A burglar breaks into a house real late at night and as he is sneaking around the house with his flashlight, he hears a voice that loudly says "JESUS IS WATCHING YOU!".The burglar, thinking he has been caught, stops in his tracks.Silence.So he starts looking through the house again when suddenly he hears, "JESUS IS WATCHING YOU!".Again the burglar stops in his tracks.After a few minutes he hears nothing, so he starts moving around again, and as before, hears "JESUS IS WATCHING YOU!".This time he hunts for the voice with his flashlight and finds a parrot sitting on a perch.Relieved to discover that the voice was only a little parrot, the burglar laughs and says "So, whats your name birdie?", and the Parrot replies "Moses".The burglar laughs even more and says, "What kind of idiot would name a Parrot "Moses"?The parrot replies, "THE SAME IDIOT THAT NAMED THE ROTTWEILLER 'JESUS'.  ATTACK, JESUS, ATTACK!!!"</blockquote>

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