Something a little bit different while I'm working on my next 'days out birding' post. At the suggestion of a friend, I've revisited one of my (very) old posts (Birding Sites- The Green Sand Assessment from Feb 2019)
Please don't take this too seriously, its meant to be a bit of self- deprecating fun.
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Urban birding: right, let me get this straight. You want to leave the woodland I’m currently in and go into a bustling, concrete- infested city, breathe in smog, battle with crowds and noise, to see what wildlife is there. Really??
Public park birding: this is fine for some people, many get hours of enjoyment doing it, its often birding at a basic level, combining birdwatching/ listening with pushing your kids on a swing while avoiding being hit with a stick by some sugar- addled proto- monster. Others may wonder about the levels of cosmic catastrophe that affected all their other plans, leaving public park birding the only viable option to avoid having to paint the kitchen. I’m not judging, I’m empathising.
Fake wildspace: a public park in disguise. In many ways, less appealing than genuine public park birding, as the underlying dishonesty is off- putting. The swing park and boating pond are a massive clue. Beware of anything labelled 'nature trail' as its a bald- faced lie. You’re only pretending to be a wild place, so please just stop it. Unless something good turns up unexpectedly, of course, in which case it’s always been a top quality birding site.
Visitor Centre (shop) birding: The positives are that there are always volunteers on duty, and with a bit of luck some or all of these may be either interested in, or even knowledgeable about, birds, birding, and wildlife. A bit of luck being the important aspect of this….. The flipside is that by some sort of cosmic bad luck (similar to being reduced to public park birding) this may be the one day when its staffed entirely by retired folk looking for something to keep them occupied until Countdown comes on the TV in the afternoon. This often correlates to people with no passion or knowledge for the subject matter but who are expert salespeople who could flog you anything. I have a fine collection of RSPB pens. That’s all I’ll say about it.
Visitor centre- (no shop) birding: A massive improvement in ‘shop’ birding. Retail opportunities are drastically restricted, albeit not entirely absent, and you are much more likely to encounter birders rather than shoppers. Sadly, there’s often a correlation between the amount of money generated in a shop and the level of money chucked at the reserve, so such places may have an aura of being unloved and ignored. For some people strangely reminiscent of attending a school disco at Trinity High School Rutherglen in the 1980s. Apparently.
Nature reserve- man made/ tame birding: In some ways, worse than the fake wildspace, as nature organisations should know better. I mean, you’re still out birding, its probably pretty on the eyes, but it doesn’t meet my (admittedly arbitrary) criteria of being suitable for finding a Bear wandering about. The more effort put into such places, the more the wildlife keeps its distance and laughs at it.
Nature reserve- discretely man- managed: A question of trust. Do we trust the bureaucrats in charge of the nature reserve? Issues such as “aggressive habitat management” are divisive, as is the age- old dichotomy of organisations being run by people who don’t spend much time in the field, with a staff of field volunteers who’d rather die than go into management. How to solve it short of coercion? Your guess is genuinely as good as mine.
Nature reserve- the pleasant surprise birding: Superficially, low expectations, but the reality on the ground is often something special. A nuclear power station, for example. The risk of having 3- headed children weighed against some right good birding. Give credit where its due, the EDF nuclear sites at Torness and Hunterston are birding hotspots. The armed police who patrol are also friendly enough, I suppose, once they get to know you.
Nature reserve: roaming free birding: Seldom widely advertised, at most a half page in the RSPB’s big book of nature reserves they occasionally send out. It needs genuine persistence and investigative work to determine what you are likely to see, and when. Alternatively, it pays to have a mate named Bill who knows about these places. Essentially, much of the Scottish Wildlife Trust’s collection of hidden gems. Often ideal territory for a Bear to be magically discovered. Always a gamble if this is your target for a big day out, not least as they’re hard to bloody find in the first place and it can be dusk by the time you actually get there.
Happy Place birding- Mindfulness: A place to feel at home, a place where you ARE at home. The birding itself may be of questionable quality, as may the birders themselves, but there is something about such places that do you good. Tied in with a place which you feel comfortable birding in, where you have regular success, where you have had memorable days out, with the adrenaline rush that that involves. The flip side being that bad days in such places are BAD days. The loss of such a happy place can be quite devastating.
Wild place- well known & popular: Must be wild enough not to be too popular, where with a bit of effort you can tune out the human noise. Maybe. Again, a massive risk that you’ll turn up at the same time as a dog- walking company. Or worse, a company of doggers.
Wild place- non touristy: Occasional walkers acceptable, a gaggle of enthusiastic university students talking over each other and destroying the ambience, significantly less acceptable. Its probably coincidental that in my experience these student-y types are all called Farquar, live in Kelvinside, study at Glasgow University, and think they’re good enough to date my daughters. You're nowhere good enough, lads, bugger off.
Wild place- posing a danger to life: Right, back to birding. Imagine a clifftop above waves crashing furiously against jagged rocks hundreds of feet below as an Atlantic gale lashes the unpopulated island you bribed a fisherman to drop you off on. You’ve likely left your tent pegs on the living room floor. Or imagine an isolated lochan in winter, involving a 5 mile walk in and out through thigh- high snow. Or a mountain summit as you see a storm barrelling in along the valley. A definite test of risk vs reward. Alternatively titled “well, I’m here now” birding. A cautionary note to be careful about telling your spouse, or your Mum, too much about such days out.
Wild place- Elite level: known only to a few, with this knowledge itself only passed on to those who meet some mysterious, unquantifiable standard. Not all knowledge- holders can attend at the same time, in case some cataclysm removes all such knowledge in one decisive act. Imagine the Stonecutters Society from the Simpson. With binoculars. There’s a forest in Fife where deep inside someone has built their own hide. I visited once with a couple of other birders, but having been asleep in the car on the way there, I genuinely would never be able to find it again.
Reality birding: a little bit of the good in everything, a little bit of the less- good in everything. It is what you make it. The type of birding doesn’t really matter, in the end, as long as you are birding.
Stay healthy, stay safe, stay birding, folks.
John
Please don't take this too seriously, its meant to be a bit of self- deprecating fun.
_________________________________________________________________________________________
Urban birding: right, let me get this straight. You want to leave the woodland I’m currently in and go into a bustling, concrete- infested city, breathe in smog, battle with crowds and noise, to see what wildlife is there. Really??
Public park birding: this is fine for some people, many get hours of enjoyment doing it, its often birding at a basic level, combining birdwatching/ listening with pushing your kids on a swing while avoiding being hit with a stick by some sugar- addled proto- monster. Others may wonder about the levels of cosmic catastrophe that affected all their other plans, leaving public park birding the only viable option to avoid having to paint the kitchen. I’m not judging, I’m empathising.
Fake wildspace: a public park in disguise. In many ways, less appealing than genuine public park birding, as the underlying dishonesty is off- putting. The swing park and boating pond are a massive clue. Beware of anything labelled 'nature trail' as its a bald- faced lie. You’re only pretending to be a wild place, so please just stop it. Unless something good turns up unexpectedly, of course, in which case it’s always been a top quality birding site.
Visitor Centre (shop) birding: The positives are that there are always volunteers on duty, and with a bit of luck some or all of these may be either interested in, or even knowledgeable about, birds, birding, and wildlife. A bit of luck being the important aspect of this….. The flipside is that by some sort of cosmic bad luck (similar to being reduced to public park birding) this may be the one day when its staffed entirely by retired folk looking for something to keep them occupied until Countdown comes on the TV in the afternoon. This often correlates to people with no passion or knowledge for the subject matter but who are expert salespeople who could flog you anything. I have a fine collection of RSPB pens. That’s all I’ll say about it.
Visitor centre- (no shop) birding: A massive improvement in ‘shop’ birding. Retail opportunities are drastically restricted, albeit not entirely absent, and you are much more likely to encounter birders rather than shoppers. Sadly, there’s often a correlation between the amount of money generated in a shop and the level of money chucked at the reserve, so such places may have an aura of being unloved and ignored. For some people strangely reminiscent of attending a school disco at Trinity High School Rutherglen in the 1980s. Apparently.
Nature reserve- man made/ tame birding: In some ways, worse than the fake wildspace, as nature organisations should know better. I mean, you’re still out birding, its probably pretty on the eyes, but it doesn’t meet my (admittedly arbitrary) criteria of being suitable for finding a Bear wandering about. The more effort put into such places, the more the wildlife keeps its distance and laughs at it.
Nature reserve- discretely man- managed: A question of trust. Do we trust the bureaucrats in charge of the nature reserve? Issues such as “aggressive habitat management” are divisive, as is the age- old dichotomy of organisations being run by people who don’t spend much time in the field, with a staff of field volunteers who’d rather die than go into management. How to solve it short of coercion? Your guess is genuinely as good as mine.
Nature reserve- the pleasant surprise birding: Superficially, low expectations, but the reality on the ground is often something special. A nuclear power station, for example. The risk of having 3- headed children weighed against some right good birding. Give credit where its due, the EDF nuclear sites at Torness and Hunterston are birding hotspots. The armed police who patrol are also friendly enough, I suppose, once they get to know you.
Nature reserve: roaming free birding: Seldom widely advertised, at most a half page in the RSPB’s big book of nature reserves they occasionally send out. It needs genuine persistence and investigative work to determine what you are likely to see, and when. Alternatively, it pays to have a mate named Bill who knows about these places. Essentially, much of the Scottish Wildlife Trust’s collection of hidden gems. Often ideal territory for a Bear to be magically discovered. Always a gamble if this is your target for a big day out, not least as they’re hard to bloody find in the first place and it can be dusk by the time you actually get there.
Happy Place birding- Mindfulness: A place to feel at home, a place where you ARE at home. The birding itself may be of questionable quality, as may the birders themselves, but there is something about such places that do you good. Tied in with a place which you feel comfortable birding in, where you have regular success, where you have had memorable days out, with the adrenaline rush that that involves. The flip side being that bad days in such places are BAD days. The loss of such a happy place can be quite devastating.
Wild place- well known & popular: Must be wild enough not to be too popular, where with a bit of effort you can tune out the human noise. Maybe. Again, a massive risk that you’ll turn up at the same time as a dog- walking company. Or worse, a company of doggers.
Wild place- non touristy: Occasional walkers acceptable, a gaggle of enthusiastic university students talking over each other and destroying the ambience, significantly less acceptable. Its probably coincidental that in my experience these student-y types are all called Farquar, live in Kelvinside, study at Glasgow University, and think they’re good enough to date my daughters. You're nowhere good enough, lads, bugger off.
Wild place- posing a danger to life: Right, back to birding. Imagine a clifftop above waves crashing furiously against jagged rocks hundreds of feet below as an Atlantic gale lashes the unpopulated island you bribed a fisherman to drop you off on. You’ve likely left your tent pegs on the living room floor. Or imagine an isolated lochan in winter, involving a 5 mile walk in and out through thigh- high snow. Or a mountain summit as you see a storm barrelling in along the valley. A definite test of risk vs reward. Alternatively titled “well, I’m here now” birding. A cautionary note to be careful about telling your spouse, or your Mum, too much about such days out.
Wild place- Elite level: known only to a few, with this knowledge itself only passed on to those who meet some mysterious, unquantifiable standard. Not all knowledge- holders can attend at the same time, in case some cataclysm removes all such knowledge in one decisive act. Imagine the Stonecutters Society from the Simpson. With binoculars. There’s a forest in Fife where deep inside someone has built their own hide. I visited once with a couple of other birders, but having been asleep in the car on the way there, I genuinely would never be able to find it again.
Reality birding: a little bit of the good in everything, a little bit of the less- good in everything. It is what you make it. The type of birding doesn’t really matter, in the end, as long as you are birding.
Stay healthy, stay safe, stay birding, folks.
John