Will, PLEASE Correct me if I am wrong..
No, you're absolutely right! This hobby is still pretty new to me, and I feel as though I am just exploring the world of optics and seeing what it has to offer. My lack of experience does mean that I gravitate toward the latest models being sold and marketed, just because they are there in the places I tend to look, and, if I'm honest, I don't have any long-term perspective on things yet.
I do dabble with digiscoping, so those kinds of optimisations will be attractive to me. (I do it as a way of sharing what I see with family and friends, although my primary purpose is personal viewing - that direct connection with what one is seeing through an optic, which, to my irrational mind, you don't really get in the same way with a camera).
All the stats I'm tossing around in these conversations are basically a way of getting my thoughts and expectations in order until I can sit in front of a scope and say: "Ok, wow. This is the one for me." That will be, of course, because I'm looking at a very bright and crystal clear image with minimal distortions, very wide AFOV, and excellent performance across an impressive zoom range. There are certain scopes (typically, the bigger and more modern ones) which I can expect to provide that, and some others which its probably worth taking as read; although I certainly enjoy being surprised!
On top of that, I would need to enjoy the physical properties of the instrument itself. I totally agree that these are 'tools': carefully designed instruments made for a very specific purpose. But, as a lot of folks here will agree, optics are also works of art - in the sense of being something that enriches your life through the impression it makes upon you every time you see it, pick it up, and care for it. I sometimes sit my binos on the desk in front of me as a kind of ornament; I like having them around, and not just because I can quickly pick them up and see what's on the feeder outside the window.
Thanks very much for sharing your experience!