BirdForum is the net's largest birding community dedicated to wild birds and birding, and is absolutely FREE!

Register for an account to take part in lively discussions in the forum, post your pictures in the gallery and more.

Reply to thread

Message: <blockquote data-quote="halftwo" data-source="post: 1376841" data-attributes="member: 45720">Hi Veagle - a great thread - and a subject touched on before I think.Many have given sage advice - and the variance shows how diverse we all are. In particular Colin's quoted bit re. having to choose to lose a wife who made the ultimate ultimatum I echo.My wife and I have done the compromise thing for fifteen years - and now the children are grown we both get to do much more of what we both want.I spend a fairish proportion of my spare time birding - and have long since given up on hoping she'll get into birding - and like Colin, we each often do our own thing.When it comes to holidays - something that's very important to both of us - we compromise: I choose somewhere where the birding's great - but also where she can do the things she wants to do. Last year we went to Costa Rica and I did a lot of birding - not as much as a birding-only holiday would entail - but a fair amount anyway. Like others I can get a lot of birding in before Mrs.H gets up! And she's happy enough by the pool for a few hours with a book (which drives me to distraction quite quickly) so I can get away again then.I went through the twitching phase back in the eighties and a few relationships ended (and didn't start!) because of that - I didn't regret it then and don't to this day. I had a great time. Priorities shift, responsibilities come and go.Now I'm more chilled (but still very very keen) and can philosophise about the whole relationship versus birding thing. I still wish I could do more birding - particularly abroad - but I'm time rich/money poor which has a greater stiffling effect than my marriage. (Though you could argue that, if i were single I'd have more money for me and birding.)   Being 'obsessive' is both a curse and a boon - and is more often a man thing. Anyway Veagle - be thankful that Mrs V is at least partly interested - as others suggest - don't push too hard.   H</blockquote>

Verification