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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Troubador" data-source="post: 3616540" data-attributes="member: 109211">Zarquon's Knees CJ!You are so behind the times. Thagmeister has already replaced the eV8888 via a wormhole from the future with the DOJ Heisenberger. DOJ stands for Day of Judgement and the unsettling clarity of vision that comes to us all on that day, but the biggest feature is its Heisenberg Uncertain Magnification Generator. The HUMG (which oddly enough is pronounced 'widget' by the Thagmeisters) endows this device with a series of magnifications from zero all the way to just short of infinity all at the same time, and only adopts the magnification of your choice at the instant you look through it and it scans your underlying brain emissions thus revealing your preference. Those without brain emissions, or who dither over what magnification they prefer, need not bother saving up for this staggering new instrument as it won't work for them. I say staggering because it weighs around 50kg (depending on the gravitational field of your planet) and is enough to give any sentient species the 'staggers'.The only problem with this epoch-defining bino is that the focus is harder to move in one direction than the other and squeaks a bit.Still you can't have everything.Thank you and good night.Lee</blockquote>