Wow. I turn my back for a minute to defy my tendon and go birding and this is what you get up to??
In the realms of the 'net, and in this board format in particular, there are many missing smilies... the one I'm missing right now is the 'smacked wrists' smiley! :-O
Well, we've all learned something - not least that Phil loses the ability to count, and indeed read numbers, when he's had a few. [We ought to play poker some time..
] Combined with his inability to recognise a Cormorant when he sees one, I think he might need to go to a meeting... [Diver Hallucinators Anonymous!
]
Ok, ok, I'll be serious for a second.
This thread is SO much fun!
right then, back to the mayhem;
In an attempt to be actually conciliatory, I have assessed the evidence and come up with a radical proposition! There's two pieces of evidence, right? Description sounds like a diver. Photo looks like a Cormorant. Yes, folks, its Grassy Knoll time - two bird theory!!!!! Think about it - while wrangling his phone, the diver dives [they're quite good at it] and a Cormorant comes up nearby, Dave thinks "Where'd it go? Ah! There it is!" SNAP. Diver comes up far far away [they're good at that, too] and he's none the wiser.
[This is a plausible way for Phil to save face after his rank admission of defeat in post 103]