firstreesjohn
Well-known member
“Let’s not duck the issue” EXCLUSIVE! – breaking news from the EDP
I’ve only just picked up the reference to Keith Harris (#12959), as things get rather busy when I’m slaving away at the white-board face, mid-week.
Following a tip-off from a leading bird tour guide and published in the Eastern Ducks’ Press, I can reveal that a rare and colourful species of duck has been sighted in Norfolk, birding enthusiasts say. (Is that the correct punctuation, etc. ?)
Orville often frequents the cracking Thread, a sort of stream in the shape of a massive web- or should that be quacking ?
Sadly, his long-time companion hasn’t yet been observed with him. Neither has he been seen to sequester himself within a black bin-bag. (The mind boggles as to what people do for fun, these days!)
Unconfirmed reports have emerged, indicating that a similarly lurid anas (please read that last word very carefully!) was recently shot by wildfowlers on the saltmarsh at Warham (Fluorescent) Greens. If they proved to be two males from the same clutch, they would be Brothers- Wright ?
Some have voiced the speculum (No!) speculation that it is a mutant of Green-winged Teal. Others are not nappy (No!) happy with this ID: our American cousins saying that only limeys could conceive such a monstrosity and it’s nothing to do with them.
One of its appurtenances is a large, silver-coloured safety pin. Is this some kind of ring or tag? The BTO could assist, here, by tracing any connection with Harris, in the Outer Hebrides. Indications are, however, that it would be unable to make such a sustained flight.
Finally, vocalisation seems to include a squeaky call and other sounds having a fleeting resemblance to human speech.
Because this news has been rushed out, there may be various typos, reminiscent of The Grauniad national newspaper.
The photo below depicts me- in the background- and is almost exactly the same spot that recently hosted the 2 Great Whites. No, not Sharks, silly !
I’ve only just picked up the reference to Keith Harris (#12959), as things get rather busy when I’m slaving away at the white-board face, mid-week.
Following a tip-off from a leading bird tour guide and published in the Eastern Ducks’ Press, I can reveal that a rare and colourful species of duck has been sighted in Norfolk, birding enthusiasts say. (Is that the correct punctuation, etc. ?)
Orville often frequents the cracking Thread, a sort of stream in the shape of a massive web- or should that be quacking ?
Sadly, his long-time companion hasn’t yet been observed with him. Neither has he been seen to sequester himself within a black bin-bag. (The mind boggles as to what people do for fun, these days!)
Unconfirmed reports have emerged, indicating that a similarly lurid anas (please read that last word very carefully!) was recently shot by wildfowlers on the saltmarsh at Warham (Fluorescent) Greens. If they proved to be two males from the same clutch, they would be Brothers- Wright ?
Some have voiced the speculum (No!) speculation that it is a mutant of Green-winged Teal. Others are not nappy (No!) happy with this ID: our American cousins saying that only limeys could conceive such a monstrosity and it’s nothing to do with them.
One of its appurtenances is a large, silver-coloured safety pin. Is this some kind of ring or tag? The BTO could assist, here, by tracing any connection with Harris, in the Outer Hebrides. Indications are, however, that it would be unable to make such a sustained flight.
Finally, vocalisation seems to include a squeaky call and other sounds having a fleeting resemblance to human speech.
Because this news has been rushed out, there may be various typos, reminiscent of The Grauniad national newspaper.
The photo below depicts me- in the background- and is almost exactly the same spot that recently hosted the 2 Great Whites. No, not Sharks, silly !