Hi paula,
Don't know much about photography, but I claim to know a little bit about art.
Of course, art is just about as subjective as you can get, but this doesn't really work for me.
In my opinion, it's all a bit fussy, and the swan is just too big. There's almost too much to look at. Also, because it appears you have concentrated on a close subject, the background is "neither nowt nor summat" - it's neither completely plain nor particularly intricate.
I reckon the eye is in just about the right place - although it perhaps could do with being about half an inch to the left. I think the reflection in the eye is nice, though.
Is this the complete image, or have you cropped it down? If you could take the cropping out a bit, make the swan smaller and reposition the eye - you might also lose some of the fussiness, and get a better balanced picture.
I would suggest, however, that you wait for a few more opinions, and most of all do what YOU want!
Hope this helps!!!